Five Thoughts About One Thing: Wearing Glasses

I have worn glasses since I was about ten years old.

I remember really wanting a pair when I was six (back when I also thought braces were cool), but after my initial diagnosis of 20/60 vision at ten, the novelty quickly wore off.

Now, I’m not complaining, I really don’t mind wearing glasses, but at a lovely 5.5 in one eye, and a 5.0 in the other, vision correction for me is not an option. Thus, being well versed in the world of frames, lenses, and little half orbs you stick on your eyeballs, I figured it would make sense to write five things about it.

1) I regularly lose my glasses when I wake up. Being that my range of vision extends to about five inches in front of my face, this is understandable. There have been mornings when I eat, put makeup on, and get dressed before I solicit the aid of another pair of eyes.

2) Your tolerance for dirty lenses increases exponentially the longer you wear glasses. I used to clean my classes multiple times a day, now, I don’t usually clean them until there is obvious vision obstruction. “I didn’t see the stop sign, officer…”

This being said, if you splash me in the face with water, you are dead to me.

3) New glasses wearers treat their spectacles like precious china. (They cost about as much as precious china). My glasses end up on the floor, in a shoe, or underneath my sleeping body.

4) Wearing glasses has saved me from much blunt object trauma to my head. The frames usually hit the doorway, cabinet, car door, person, table edge, or brick wall before I do. Granted, my peripheral vision is a bit sketchy due to my, oh so stylishly chunky frames.

5) If my glasses were to spontaneously combust, explode, implode, or fall into another dimension, I would be, for all practical purposes, helpless. How can I tell if that dog is friendly or not before I pet it? Is that ice cream or mashed potatoes? Or butter? Or Crisco? Are you smiling at me? Do you even have a face? Man or Woman?

What do you guys think? Do you guys have any weird habits from wearing glasses?

Keep those bespectacled heads in the clouds!

-HH-

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One thought on “Five Thoughts About One Thing: Wearing Glasses

  1. a snowsprite says:

    I wear sunglasses … like all the time. Does that count? Lols. Sometimes I will click my nails on my glasses. I’m not sure why; I just do.
    Also, I used to regularly take off my glasses, put them down and forget where they were.

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