Five Thoughts About One Thing: Wearing Glasses

I have worn glasses since I was about ten years old.

I remember really wanting a pair when I was six (back when I also thought braces were cool), but after my initial diagnosis of 20/60 vision at ten, the novelty quickly wore off.

Now, I’m not complaining, I really don’t mind wearing glasses, but at a lovely 5.5 in one eye, and a 5.0 in the other, vision correction for me is not an option. Thus, being well versed in the world of frames, lenses, and little half orbs you stick on your eyeballs, I figured it would make sense to write five things about it.

1) I regularly lose my glasses when I wake up. Being that my range of vision extends to about five inches in front of my face, this is understandable. There have been mornings when I eat, put makeup on, and get dressed before I solicit the aid of another pair of eyes.

2) Your tolerance for dirty lenses increases exponentially the longer you wear glasses. I used to clean my classes multiple times a day, now, I don’t usually clean them until there is obvious vision obstruction. “I didn’t see the stop sign, officer…”

This being said, if you splash me in the face with water, you are dead to me.

3) New glasses wearers treat their spectacles like precious china. (They cost about as much as precious china). My glasses end up on the floor, in a shoe, or underneath my sleeping body.

4) Wearing glasses has saved me from much blunt object trauma to my head. The frames usually hit the doorway, cabinet, car door, person, table edge, or brick wall before I do. Granted, my peripheral vision is a bit sketchy due to my, oh so stylishly chunky frames.

5) If my glasses were to spontaneously combust, explode, implode, or fall into another dimension, I would be, for all practical purposes, helpless. How can I tell if that dog is friendly or not before I pet it? Is that ice cream or mashed potatoes? Or butter? Or Crisco? Are you smiling at me? Do you even have a face? Man or Woman?

What do you guys think? Do you guys have any weird habits from wearing glasses?

Keep those bespectacled heads in the clouds!

-HH-

Five thoughts about one thing

In retrospect, my five favourite/favorite things post was fun… but I have changed my mind.

MY favorite things are too limiting. Nobody really enjoys a post like that unless those same five things happen to be their favorite things. And I want you all to enjoy yourselves.

Within reason.

I just had the carpets cleaned.

Anyhow, I decided to try something new. (In typical “me” fashion: bouncing to something else before the original new even grew legs.) ((Reason #3209 why I should become a nun.))

I am now going to post five thoughts about one thing.

Five… because we all know how much I enjoy arbitrary numbers, and the thing is left entirely to whatever is striking my fancy that day. I am open to suggestions as well.

Today’s thing is pudding.

Yes, I was eating a Snack Pack while the idea came to me.

FIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT PUDDING

1) Most pudding is good–(except for hospital pudding), but cooked pudding trumps instant pudding eight-bazillion to one. Pudding from scratch is one of the best tasting, non-chewable, “foods” on the face of the planet.

2) Cooked pudding always ends up with a film on the surface. This pudding film simultaneously disgusted and intrigued me as a child. If it was broken up and mixed in with my dish of pudding, the grossness level landed somewhere between slugs and band-aids. But if I pulled it off and ate it by itself…

Buddy, that’s a primary school delicacy right there.

3) Pudding with stuff in it is generally a win in my book. AKA tapioca, rice, animal crackers…

4) Obscurely flavored pudding (banana, lime, cotton candy) does not have any purpose on planet earth… except as a possible adhesive replacement should there be a glue shortage.

5) Puddings that aren’t really pudding (those Brits again) are a definite yes. Bread pudding, plum pudding, Yorkshire pudding–the 18th century knew what was up.

What about you? Do you like pudding? Is pudding starting to sound weird now that you’ve read it so many times?

Should banana pudding be sued for vanilla pudding impersonation?

Keep those puddin’ heads in the clouds!

-HH-